So the Duchess of Cambridge has popped out a new baby and within minutes it seems has appeared, hale and hearty and brimming with bright eyed vigour, at the door of the hospital to show off the new Prince.
Any woman who has had a baby knows that in all likelihood, by now, that poor woman is feeling rather less chipper now the endorphins and adrenalin have worn off.
Even with the benefit of painkillers and a comprehensive household of staff bringing her herbal tea and low fat, low cal meals to keep her energy up whilst ensuring her swift return to fabulousness, she is probably feeling a bit shit.
I see from the papers that family members are rolling through the palace gates already wanting to check out the umpteenth in line to the throne. Shame she hasn't got my scary midwife on hand who told me in no uncertain terms to ban any visitors who weren't carrying a shepherd's pie or duster for the first week at least.
Or maybe Pippa actually had a shepherd's pie in her 4x4 - to be fair the paparazzi didn't focus on the passenger seat where it might have been balanced precariously.
Anyway, I'm rambling on. (There's a shock eh?)
I am a bit miffed about the Daily Fail and other media outlets asking for pics of mums who have just given birth, presumably to compare to her Royalness. This is just not on - it's frankly not in line with British fair play and it's definitely not any kind of level playing field.
Kate's job involves looking fabulous, even after squeezing an 8lb-er out so we will forgive her utilising a team of stylists, makeup artists and a hairdresser to enable her to forgo the usual joggers, flip flops and her partner's oversized -shirt. Let's admit it - many of us mums left hospital in an outfit along these lines teamed with a greasy up do and the sort of skin you usually earn after an all-nighter and a dodgy kebab in Ibiza.
Unless you too are a genuine public figure (not just a blogger who has managed to obtain that title on Instagram somehow) there is no need to doll yourself up beyond "acceptable in public" hours after delivering the next generation. Unless you want to of course.
I'm sure the Lindo Wing has rather more spa-like facilities than the average NHS hospital and a higher concentration of immaculate new mums to compete with. I'm sure many clients come with an entourage to enable a smoother transition from blooming and pregnant to flabby and exhausted than us plebs. Maybe there's even a make-over team on staff who you can book after eating your custom-ordered meal and champagne in your luxury suite. At the very least I expect most have a maternity nurse and/or nanny waiting to help.
The maternity ward I was in even lacked mirrors at a reasonable height which to be honest I was thankful for. I could use them to scrape my hair back but even on tiptoe could not see my saggy mummy tummy or the attractive combination of blood-stained nightie, post C-section surgery socks and paper knickers complete with giant duvet-like maternity pad.
It was somewhat reassuring to queue up with the other new parents for my meals noting that some looked equally dishevelled as me. We swapped stories of noisy wards and sleepless nights like soldiers comparing war stories.
Actually I did have a bit of a spa experience - albeit with more of a Halloween spa from hell vibe than Champney's chic.
My youngest daughter was in a hurry to arrive early so after being wheeled at speed from my outpatient ante-natal appointment towards the lift and into an operating theatre, a crowd of nurses appeared around me.
Even though my mind was whirling and I was fighting not to panic I was mildly diverted and amused to see no less than three highly trained medics removing nail polish from my toes and fingers while another nurse scraped at my lower regions with a dry bic razor to allow the surgeon access to my rather over-grown lady garden.
I jokingly asked if there was any chance of an aromatherapy massage and a face mask but the joke was lost on the staff who were frantically trying to prep me for theatre.
Anyway, back to Kate. I really hope that when she got back to the palace she was allowed to remove the redsack dress and high heels and slump in bed in her fave comfy pjs while the butler made her a nice caffeine free cuppa.
I hope she's right now watching Jeremy Kyle and re-runs of Friends while feeding her new son. I hope she's indulging in the odd naughty treat (it was Fondant Fancies for me) to get her through the exhaustion of post pregnancy, post delivery and breastfeeding.
Meanwhile, I really really hope no young women are believing they too have to stroll out of hospital looking tabloid-ready after having a baby.
Fair does if you are someone who feels good when they look good or at least you want to look halfway human in those first proud mum pics. I packed a mascara, hairbrush and tinted lip salve in my hospital bag but a full face of makeup and rollers would have been far too much effort for me.
The point is, whatever is right for you is right for you and no-one should be made to feel bad if they leave the foundation at home or wear pyjamas for a month.
If you've just had or are just about to have your first baby, take this advice from this mum of 7. Rest when the baby sleeps and pamper yourself as much as humanely possible. You just grew and birthed a human!
Don't compare yourself to Kate or Beryl down the road or Cressida from NCT who had a baby at the same time as you. Just enjoy those first days and weeks and thank goodness you don't have paparazzi following your every move!
Any woman who has had a baby knows that in all likelihood, by now, that poor woman is feeling rather less chipper now the endorphins and adrenalin have worn off.
Even with the benefit of painkillers and a comprehensive household of staff bringing her herbal tea and low fat, low cal meals to keep her energy up whilst ensuring her swift return to fabulousness, she is probably feeling a bit shit.
I see from the papers that family members are rolling through the palace gates already wanting to check out the umpteenth in line to the throne. Shame she hasn't got my scary midwife on hand who told me in no uncertain terms to ban any visitors who weren't carrying a shepherd's pie or duster for the first week at least.
Or maybe Pippa actually had a shepherd's pie in her 4x4 - to be fair the paparazzi didn't focus on the passenger seat where it might have been balanced precariously.
Anyway, I'm rambling on. (There's a shock eh?)
I am a bit miffed about the Daily Fail and other media outlets asking for pics of mums who have just given birth, presumably to compare to her Royalness. This is just not on - it's frankly not in line with British fair play and it's definitely not any kind of level playing field.
Kate's job involves looking fabulous, even after squeezing an 8lb-er out so we will forgive her utilising a team of stylists, makeup artists and a hairdresser to enable her to forgo the usual joggers, flip flops and her partner's oversized -shirt. Let's admit it - many of us mums left hospital in an outfit along these lines teamed with a greasy up do and the sort of skin you usually earn after an all-nighter and a dodgy kebab in Ibiza.
Unless you too are a genuine public figure (not just a blogger who has managed to obtain that title on Instagram somehow) there is no need to doll yourself up beyond "acceptable in public" hours after delivering the next generation. Unless you want to of course.
I'm sure the Lindo Wing has rather more spa-like facilities than the average NHS hospital and a higher concentration of immaculate new mums to compete with. I'm sure many clients come with an entourage to enable a smoother transition from blooming and pregnant to flabby and exhausted than us plebs. Maybe there's even a make-over team on staff who you can book after eating your custom-ordered meal and champagne in your luxury suite. At the very least I expect most have a maternity nurse and/or nanny waiting to help.
The maternity ward I was in even lacked mirrors at a reasonable height which to be honest I was thankful for. I could use them to scrape my hair back but even on tiptoe could not see my saggy mummy tummy or the attractive combination of blood-stained nightie, post C-section surgery socks and paper knickers complete with giant duvet-like maternity pad.
It was somewhat reassuring to queue up with the other new parents for my meals noting that some looked equally dishevelled as me. We swapped stories of noisy wards and sleepless nights like soldiers comparing war stories.
Actually I did have a bit of a spa experience - albeit with more of a Halloween spa from hell vibe than Champney's chic.
My youngest daughter was in a hurry to arrive early so after being wheeled at speed from my outpatient ante-natal appointment towards the lift and into an operating theatre, a crowd of nurses appeared around me.
Even though my mind was whirling and I was fighting not to panic I was mildly diverted and amused to see no less than three highly trained medics removing nail polish from my toes and fingers while another nurse scraped at my lower regions with a dry bic razor to allow the surgeon access to my rather over-grown lady garden.
I jokingly asked if there was any chance of an aromatherapy massage and a face mask but the joke was lost on the staff who were frantically trying to prep me for theatre.
Anyway, back to Kate. I really hope that when she got back to the palace she was allowed to remove the red
I hope she's right now watching Jeremy Kyle and re-runs of Friends while feeding her new son. I hope she's indulging in the odd naughty treat (it was Fondant Fancies for me) to get her through the exhaustion of post pregnancy, post delivery and breastfeeding.
Meanwhile, I really really hope no young women are believing they too have to stroll out of hospital looking tabloid-ready after having a baby.
Fair does if you are someone who feels good when they look good or at least you want to look halfway human in those first proud mum pics. I packed a mascara, hairbrush and tinted lip salve in my hospital bag but a full face of makeup and rollers would have been far too much effort for me.
The point is, whatever is right for you is right for you and no-one should be made to feel bad if they leave the foundation at home or wear pyjamas for a month.
If you've just had or are just about to have your first baby, take this advice from this mum of 7. Rest when the baby sleeps and pamper yourself as much as humanely possible. You just grew and birthed a human!
Don't compare yourself to Kate or Beryl down the road or Cressida from NCT who had a baby at the same time as you. Just enjoy those first days and weeks and thank goodness you don't have paparazzi following your every move!